BIBLICAL VIEW | FLATTERY (1)

1. Introduction

Proverbs 20:19 New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁹ He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets;
Therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips.

2. They flatter with their lips to get inside information then reveal those secrets to the next victim.

a) When a flatterer lures a person to uncover his secrets, he or she will go to others, and tell them what they have just learned, flattering them in the same way, giving the impression that they are the sole recipients to this "insider" information...

b) Remember - He or she who gossips to you will gossip about you!

c) "A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with chatterers."

d) Watch out for that friendship!

i) Until we know what their motives are - be careful how much private stuff you share with anybody.

ii) Telling the wrong person can become the beginning of "woes."

iii) Friendships are precious but how do we know the parasite friend from a true one?

iv)The parasite clings to you, and eventually will "sting" you.

e) The most dangerous type of "friend" is the flatterer.

3. How to discern a flatterer...

a) They play on our vanity.

i) They uncover our character flaws and play on those.

ii) The flatterer seeks to enter into our emotions.

iii) They offer "sincere" sympathies to gain a foothold.

iv) They cannot tell the truth, even with simple things.

v) You can never pin a flatterer down

b) Flatterers use your position of power, and responsibility to isolate and sympathize when times of stress make you vulnerable. They show up in times of need.

i) True friends...

@1. Will always speak the truth.

@2. Are not jealous of your success because they have success themselves.

@3. They speak the truth no matter what your response may be.

@4. They will never desert you and seek to help in any way.

ii) The false friend...

@1. May praise you to your face.

@2. Will talk about you behind your back.

@3. Their critical eye of you is very subtle.

@4. They are jealous.

@5. In telling you about another person, they start their influence on you!

@6. You have just become their next victim...

@7. They take secret pleasure in seeing you dragged through the mud.

iii) The danger sign?

@1. Do you get all puffed up with flattery?

@2. Do you know the basic reason for the friendship?

@3. What is the real, unseen motive - to use you, or to unselfishly support you?