SAVING MARRIAGE 4: SUBJECTION & LOVING IN CHRIST
(Message by Tanny Keng)
1. Saving Marriage
a) Marriages today have never been in more serious jeopardy. Even among Christians, the divorce rate is soaring, the number of adulterous affairs is skyrocketing, and the number of spouses divorcing has never been higher. How can you save your marriage?
2. Subjection and Loving Like Christ
a) In Ephesians we see a biblical model that works well for marriages. The tricky part is that it works best for those who are both Christian. In Ephesians 5 we read some imperative commands give to married couples. An imperative command is not a helpful hint or suggestion but a direct command as from God Himself.
b) God commands, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:22-24).
c) This does not mean that husbands can make their wives do anything…especially contrary to what is in the Bible for Paul adds, “as to the Lord” as a qualification for wives to submit to their husbands. In other words, the wife should submit to her husband but he can not make her steal or lie or do something contrary to the commands of God written down in His written Word the Bible.
d) Paul also commands, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:-25-31).
e) For one thing, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. This means that he is to love her with an unconditional, sacrificial kind of love. A love that sacrifices his own interests at times, sacrifices his own desires, or even sacrifices his own life if necessary. Christ died for the church and so husbands ought to die for their wives…die to themselves in a sense. Another key point in the command given to husbands is that the “man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast (cling) to his wife.”
f) What Paul is saying is that this is a new family and the family to which he used to be in is now no longer to have anything to do with his present family. This means that his parents, as well has her parents, should keep out of marital dealings with this new family. This man and woman have left their families to start a new family and that they need to leave their old families behind. This should be made known, lovingly, to the parents of both the husband and wife to stay out of their marriage and their family. That doesn’t mean that they are to be cut off but they are to have no influence or exert any kind of pressure on the new couple.
g) Paul continues, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:32-33). The relationship between husband and wife is like that of Christ and His church. The Bride of Christ, the church, is betrothed to Jesus Christ and the marriage will be consummated at Christ’s Second Advent…when He returns for His bride to marry her and be joined together and celebrated at the marriage supper of the Lamb of God (Revelation 19:6-9). Husbands must love their wives with an everlasting, endearing love because wives desire love more than anything in a relationship. Wives are to respect their husbands…respect their God-given authority because men desire respect. When wives respect their husbands they feel loved.
The End ...
1. Saving Marriage a) Marriages today have never been in more serious jeopardy. Even among Christians, the divorce rate is soaring, the number of adulterous affairs is skyrocketing, and the number of spouses divorcing has never been higher. How can you save your marriage?
2. Subjection and Loving Like Christ
a) In Ephesians we see a biblical model that works well for marriages. The tricky part is that it works best for those who are both Christian. In Ephesians 5 we read some imperative commands give to married couples. An imperative command is not a helpful hint or suggestion but a direct command as from God Himself.
b) God commands, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:22-24).
c) This does not mean that husbands can make their wives do anything…especially contrary to what is in the Bible for Paul adds, “as to the Lord” as a qualification for wives to submit to their husbands. In other words, the wife should submit to her husband but he can not make her steal or lie or do something contrary to the commands of God written down in His written Word the Bible.
d) Paul also commands, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:-25-31).
e) For one thing, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. This means that he is to love her with an unconditional, sacrificial kind of love. A love that sacrifices his own interests at times, sacrifices his own desires, or even sacrifices his own life if necessary. Christ died for the church and so husbands ought to die for their wives…die to themselves in a sense. Another key point in the command given to husbands is that the “man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast (cling) to his wife.”
f) What Paul is saying is that this is a new family and the family to which he used to be in is now no longer to have anything to do with his present family. This means that his parents, as well has her parents, should keep out of marital dealings with this new family. This man and woman have left their families to start a new family and that they need to leave their old families behind. This should be made known, lovingly, to the parents of both the husband and wife to stay out of their marriage and their family. That doesn’t mean that they are to be cut off but they are to have no influence or exert any kind of pressure on the new couple.
g) Paul continues, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:32-33). The relationship between husband and wife is like that of Christ and His church. The Bride of Christ, the church, is betrothed to Jesus Christ and the marriage will be consummated at Christ’s Second Advent…when He returns for His bride to marry her and be joined together and celebrated at the marriage supper of the Lamb of God (Revelation 19:6-9). Husbands must love their wives with an everlasting, endearing love because wives desire love more than anything in a relationship. Wives are to respect their husbands…respect their God-given authority because men desire respect. When wives respect their husbands they feel loved.
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