SELF-CONTROL

1. Introduction

a) What is self-control?

i) It is simply the ability to control self and not others.

ii) It is the fruit of the Spirit that gives one the ability to control (exercise authority over, direct, command) one’s own body, mind, will and emotions, particularly when doing so conflicts with one’s base desires.

@1. Galatians 5: 22 – 23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

iii) The fruit of the Spirit is the spontaneous work of the Holy Spirit in us. The Spirit produces these character traits that are found in the nature of Christ. Because God who sent the law also sent the Spirit, the by-products of the Spirit-filled life are in perfect harmony with the intent of God’s law. A person who exhibits the fruit of the Spirit fulfills the law far better than a person who observes the rituals but has little love in his or her heart.

2. Who are the people needed self-control?

a) Older men.

i) 2Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. (Titus 2:2 NIV)

ii) Why? The older people should teach the younger by words and by example. This is how values are passed on from generation to generation.

b) Younger women.

i) 3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. (Titus 2:3-5 NIV)

ii) Why? Younger women should learn to live in a Christian manner – loving their husbands and caring for their children where people look up to them.

c) Young men.

i) 6Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. (Titus 2:6 NIV)

ii) Why? Many young men today have been raised in families where fathers have neglected their responsibilities to their wives and children. Husbands and fathers who are good examples of Christian living are important role models for young men who need to see how it is done.

3. Why do we need self-control?

a) Paul said that in the last days, people will be without self-control.

i) 1But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. (2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV)

b) Paul’s reference to the “last days” reveals his sense of urgency. The last days began after Jesus’ resurrection when the Holy Spirit came upon the believers at Pentecost. The “last days” will continue until Christ’s second coming. This means that we are living in the last days.

4. In what ways does self-control help us?

a) So that we can say ‘No” to ungodliness & worldly passions.

i) 11For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. (Titus 2:11-14 NIV)

b) So that we can pray

i) 7The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. (1 Peter 4:7 NIV)

c) So that we can resist our enemy, the Devil.

i) 8Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. (1 Peter 5:8, 9 NIV)

d) So that we can qualify to be an elder (bishop / overseer).

i) 7Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. 8Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. (Titus 1:7, 8 NIV)

5. In which most attractive areas can self-control be exercised?

a) Lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes & pride of life.

i) 16For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:16 NIV)

ii) Lust of the flesh - preoccupation with gratifying physical desires e.g. sexual immorality.

@1. 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Matthew 5:32 NIV)

#1) Sexual immorality implies a sexually immoral life-style (lewd behaviour; behaviour that conflicts with traditional (biblical) moral values), not a confessed and repented act of adultery. Those who discover that their partner has been unfaithful should first make every effort to forgive, reconcile, and restore that marriage relationship rather than for excuses to leave it.

#2) 3It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honourable, 5not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 NIV)

6. Do we know that Satan tempts us for our lack of self-control?

a) 5Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5 NIV)

b) That is why Paul said (in 1 Corinthians 7: 3 – 5), that because of sexual immorality, the man should give his wife all that is her right as a married woman, and the wife should do the same for her husband: for a girl married no longer has full right to her own body, for her husband then has his rights to it, too; and in the same way the husband no longer has full right to his own body, for it belongs also to his wife. So do not refuse these rights to each other. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from the rights of marriage for a limited time, so that they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterwards, they should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control.

c) Sexual temptations are difficult to withstand because they appeal to the normal and natural desires that God has given us. Marriage provides God’s way to satisfy these natural sexual desires and to strengthen the partners against temptation. Married couples have the responsibility to care for each other; therefore, husbands and wives should not withhold themselves sexually from one another, but should fulfill each other’s needs and desires.

d) Lust of the eyes – craving and accumulating things, bowing to the god of materialism.

i) 27“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. (Matthew 5:27-29 NIV)

e) Pride of life – obsession with one’s status or importance.

i) 18Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18 NIV)

f) 18“Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? 19For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.) 20He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. 21For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” (Mark 7:18-23 NIV)

7. Do we think self-control, the fruit of the Spirit, is absolutely necessary for our life in the marketplace?

a) Yes... Yes… Yes.

8. Prayer focus

a) Pray for God’s grace and strength in the course of our work in the marketplace.

b) Pray for self-control, the fruit of the Spirit to deny defilement.